You were what I should have!

Every single day.
In rain or sunshine...
You were there.
Staring right into me.
I was intrigued then.
Someone loves me?
No, what a fool he is.

Now, I feel I was heartless.
Should have been bold.
Should have had courage.
Should have smiled back.

Instead.
I gloated.
I felt so happy that I gave it away.
I should have hidden it from the world.
I should have kept it between us.
I gave it away. And I am sorry.

All these years. I never knew.
I made mistakes. I kept running.
I kept thinking of new ways to destroy my self.
Good god. What have I done!
You. You were what I should have.
What have I done!
It's too late now.
I can only say sorry.
So here. A piece of my heart.
The whole of my soul.
I am sorry.

You were what I should have.